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lyrics

Oh, André had a farm,
André had a farm.
All the animals wished him harm.
Oh, André had a farm,
André had a farm.
There was not one moment of calm.

A horse made out of gravy
took his carriage to the station
and he scared the crows away
with a scarecrow made of bacon.
His cows were milked for string
to knit André a tractor
and the heads of all the ducks
had been replaced by protractors.

André had a farm,
André had a farm.
All the animals wished him harm.
Oh, André had a farm,
André had a farm.
It was not without its charms.

The hens would all run backwards
and their nests were made by eggs
and the donkeys were asbestos
each with forty seven legs.
The dog would ride his bicycle
in and out of the pond
and the cats would all sit on springs
and sing a simple song.

Oh, it’s great to be a cat.
Oh, it’s great to be a cat.

But sorrow came to André,
I’ll relate to you verbatim
what his melting farm hand told me
that his animals all ate him.

Oh, André had a farm,
André had a farm.
All the animals wished him harm.

Oh, André had a farm,
André had a farm.
They all wished him harm.

Oh, André had a farm,
André had a farm.
All the animals wished him harm.

Cock-a-doodle-do.

credits

from The Greatest Show on Toast, released September 19, 2011

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Biscuithead and the Biscuit Badgers Leeds, UK

From time immemorial these musicians have stood at the gateway of nonsense begging peanuts. Spending most of their time trapped in force fields and vortices, occasionally they are released to stalk the streets of Leeds. On such occasions you might hear the plaintive cry of Sam’s tuba, the mournful crow of Dean’s ukulele, the excited jazzy croaking of Bob’s piano or the purr of Matty’s drums. ... more

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